Terms

1. Definitions
“MC Rebbe” is hereby defined as the owner of this web site.
“You” are hereby defined as any person or persons directly or indirectly accessing, reading, viewing, listening to, making use of and/or interacting with this site or any part thereof. “You” and “Your” are used interchangeably in these terms & conditions of use.
“This web site” is hereby defined as the web site of which this agreement forms a part, irrespective of the URL/URI used to access this web site.
“Content” is hereby defined as any and all information, text, photographs, images, graphics, artwork, audio clips, video clips, links, logos and original designs that collectively constitute this web site as well as any and all modifications to the original source code of the ‘Wordpress’ software and ‘dots’ template used to power part of this web site.
“The party of the first part shall be known as the party of the first part.”

Translation: I’m me, you’re you, this web site is this web site and its content is its content…do lawyers really get paid for this shit?

2. Acceptance of this agreement
This site makes available to you its content subject to the following terms and conditions of use. By using this web site you agree to be bound by these terms and conditions of use. This site reserves the right to change these terms and conditions of use without any prior notice. In the event of any such changes, the revised version of these terms and conditions of use will appear in place of any pre-existing version and your continued use of this site constitutes your binding acceptance of these terms and conditions of use including any changes.

Translation: If you use this site, you are MC Rebbe’s bitch.

3. Copyright
All content on this web site is protected by copyright with all rights reserved. MC Rebbe hereby grants you permission to access this site and its content for personal non commercial use only. You agree not to download, print, store electronically, reproduce, duplicate, copy, sell, resell, publish, transmit, distribute, display, modify, create derivative works from or exploit in any way shape or form and by any means, this site or any of its content, for any purpose whatsoever, without prior written consent. Should you wish to seek such consent, you agree to submit a formal request to MC Rebbe and to be bound by any decision that is made in respect of any such request.

Translation: Fuck the Creative Commons Licence. This is MC Rebbe’s shit not yours! Remember kids, you can look but if you want permission to touch, ask first….MC Rebbe is Jewish…he will sue…and his lawyers are bigger, badder and more Jewish than yours…so respect him, or he will own you and your tuchus. You have been warned!

4. Liability
You agree unconditionally that you will not hold MC Rebbe, this site and/or any person or persons directly or indirectly connected with them responsible or liable for any direct, indirect or consequential losses, damages, or liabilities arising from your or anybody else’s use of this site and you accordingly agree not to seek any costs or damages from or take any action or make any claims against MC Rebbe this site and/or any person or persons directly or indirectly connected with them.

Translation: Your problems are your problems bitch.

5. Links
This site takes absolutely no responsibility whatsoever for anything found upon any sites to which it provides a link. Should you purchase goods or services from any such sites then any transactions are between you and the site in question and in the event that any dispute or claim arises, you agree not to hold responsible and not to take any action whatsoever against MC Rebbe or this site.

Translation: Your problems are your problems muthafucker.

6. Comments
You hereby agree that you are the sole publisher of any comments that you post upon this web site and as such take full responsibility for any and all legal ramifications that may arise as a result of publishing such comments. You agree to indemnify MC Rebbe, this site and any person or persons connected to them, against any claims that may arise as a result of publishing your comments.

Translation: Your problems are still your problems muthafucker and you are still MC Rebbe’s bitch (notice a pattern emmerging?).

7. Jurisdiction
This contract between you and MC Rebbe operates under English Law.

8. The Sanity Clause
“There ain’t no sanity clause.”